Marriage is work. That is a fact. Even if you cannot fathom anything other than complete infatuation with the other, life has a way of getting in the way of young love. When two people come together in marriage, they remain two individuals with distinct histories, ideas, values, and aspirations for the future. Responsibilities, burgeoning careers, education, children, and mortgages can chip away at the lovely facade of your relationship. These things may happen, but how you handle them is what matters most. Continue reading to learn about some ways you can keep your marriage strong.
Seek Counseling Together
Marriage counseling is an effective and invaluable tool that you and your partner can and should utilize when you feel yourselves being pulled apart or no longer see eye-to-eye on certain topics. A licensed marriage counseling provider will listen to your concerns and issues while giving each of you feedback and new skills to practice at home that will help fortify or rebuild your relationship.
Be Realistic with Your Expectations
Regardless of how long you and your spouse have been together, there comes a time when one partner begins to feel like they bear the brunt of household work and childcare or are the primary wage earner, and expectations change. That person may feel resentful toward the other but not know how to address their concerns or articulate their feelings.
Try to put yourself in your partner’s position and understand why they feel the way they do. Take steps to talk about how you feel and the reasons behind those feelings. Remember that neither you nor your partner are mind readers, so you should say what you mean and mean what you say and stop and think before speaking, especially in a heated moment.
Watch this short video to learn how to use I Statements and describe your feelings for better communication.
Plan Time Alone – Together
If you have children, you know how difficult it is to find time for yourself, let alone for your marriage. You may see your partner in passing while grabbing a quick bite to eat before shuttling one child to their next activity, and your partner does the same for the other child. Sure, you talk about logistics and basic household business when you are together, but you are probably not focusing on one another because you must attend to the needs of everyone else in the home. That happens, and it is perfectly normal.
However, you need to find time to be alone as a couple without interruptions so you can focus on your marriage. After all, one day, your children will move out and move on with their lives, and the two of you will be at home. Working on your marriage now and maintaining positive connections will help as you move into life’s inevitable next stages. Consider going away on a short weekend trip together or asking family members to take your kids for a sleepover so you can be together at home.
Keep your marriage on the right track toward a bright future together by seeking counseling whenever you need extra help. Communicate openly and honestly with one another and make extra time for one-on-one quality moments and quiet adventures as a couple.
