Florida man June 10th 2009 – Florida man assaults vegan activist
On Florida man June 10th, a Florida man assaulted a Vegan activist when the Vegan approached him to ask him to sign a waiver, to help stop the meat industry from pumping animals full of antibiotics.
The Vegan activist, named Vicky Rosendale, was grabbed, hauled to the ground and decapitated in front of a busy highstreet, with the Florida man screaming “don’t you try to tell me meat is bad you witch” whilst he undertook the act.
When we caught up with officers at the scene, they told us it is the worst scene they have been at in years, as the Florida man spared no time in parading her headless body across the street after the event, telling onlookers “this is what happens when you try to break America”.
At the Florida man’s sentencing, and a short trial, he was sentenced to life in prison with no parole, and was deemed a danger on the streets. During the trial we heard the judge explain “if the DP was available in Florida state, it would have been awarded here, what this man has done is not acceptable in society”.
Florida man June 10th 2020 – Florida Man blows up game store
On Florida man June 10th, a Florida man blew up a game store on main street when he accidentally lit up a cigarette by a gas intake filter inside the bathroom.
The gas intake filter was recently fitted in case of carbon monoxide leaks due to an old boiler system, as the old boiler system was consistently leaking gas through the piping. When the Florida man lit his cigarette in the bathroom the heat instantly ignited with the gas and destroyed the building.
After a lengthy investigation it was shown that the Florida man was an employee at the game store, and thankfully the explosion happened when no customers were in.
Unfortunately for the Florida man he has been left permanently handicapped from the explosion, losing both hands and one eye in the explosion, with several skin grafts left to be done.
Florida man June 10th 2022 – Florida Man caught sitting driving tests for others
On Florida man June 10th, a Florida man was arrested for taking driving tests for several different people, who paid a healthy premium for a guaranteed test pass.
The Florida man was caught after being at the same driving school on 14 occasions, and the same examiner began to recognise him regardless of his different outfits or fake hair, and reported him to the police.
When police arrived during the man’s next test, they took prints and investigated amongst several different driving examination schools, and found that he had fraudulently taken over 3,000 driving tests across North America.
During the trial, the Florida man told the judge “we all gotta make our living somehow, I was born into poverty and the man is trying to beat me down”. The judge, who was understanding, only sentenced the man to the minimum 2 year sentence, and he was ordered to complete mandatory education before leaving so he had opportunities waiting when he was released.
Our Florida man June 10th thoughts
Holy hell, decapitating someone is absolutely crazy! That Florida man really did have a chip on his shoulder, remind me never to go anywhere near Florida on June 10th.
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