Florida man April 15th 2014 – Florida man urinates on the statue of liberty
On Florida man April 15th, a Florida man urinated on the Statue of liberty whilst holding a man hostage at gunpoint. The Florida man, who was clearly on several substances, shocked a large onlooking crowd as he grabbed a passer by and put a gun to his head.
The Florida man proceeded to tell the Florida man to unbuckle his belt and aim his member at the Statue of liberty, which the Florida man at gunpoint obliged and proceeded to do.
Officers shot the Florida man during his urination, in order to save the life of the Florida man who was being held at gunpoint. When we caught up with the Florida man, he told us “it was crazy man, I was just walking to work and the next thing I know I’m holding some dudes wiener while he takes a leak on the Statue of liberty”.
Officers have been hailed as heroes for saving the man’s life for their quick decisive action. When the case was brought in front of the court and jury to make a decision on whether the Florida man’s charges should be pushed onto his spouse, the court decided that the charges and cash lost by the state should not be charges upon the Florida man’s wife.
When the charges upon the family were dropped, the Florida man’s wife was heard saying “thank god he’s gone, I’ve been living in fear for years, he never loved me, and he hated his kids too”.
Florida man April 15th 2017 – Florida man forgets parachute on skydive and survives
On Florida man April 15th, a Florida man forgot to pack and apply his parachute during a skydive and survived a 12000 ft fall.
The Florida man, known as Day Davies, forgot to pack his parachute and when attempting to deploy at 10,000 ft was in shock when his freefall did not slow down. Luckily for the Florida man his backup chute was enough to slow his fall so that he would not be killed if he impacted in water or trees.
The Florida man landed 300ft south of his landing zone, impacting into a small bed of water, breaking both of his legs amongst several bones in his ankles and wrists. When we caught up with the Florida man he told us “it was just rad man, I thought I’d be toast but thankfully god made me remember my backup chute”.
Our thoughts are with Day as he recovers from his fall.
Florida man April 15th 2022 – Florida man arrested for pouring Guinness down sink at Irish bar
On Florida man April 15th, a Florida man was arrested in Ireland for pouring a newly poured pint of Guinness down the sink at a bar.
The Florida man, who had been drinking all day was upset that his Guinness had more than a thumb’s worth of head on it, and poured the beer down the drain in protest at being “overcharged for a pint of head”.
When officers arrived, they were physically assaulted by the Florida man, before they subdued him after a number of hits with a baton. The Florida man is currently being held for questioning over his actions, and will be deported at the weekend.
Our Florida man April 15th thoughts
You’d think that Florida men would learn to stop being idiots at some point, but I guess not. At least they are a great source of entertainment for the rest of us.
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